Send in the snakes

 Oh, man, is there anybody left alive on Earth that even gets this movie reference?

Where Are You Going McDonalds?

 McDonalds is outa here!

Still Hanging On...

 

Never give up.

Did Putin Bite Off More Than He Can Chew?

 It's Putin vs. Ukraine.

A News Conference? Or A Multi-Panel Interview

 

March 25, 2021 - A date where President Joe Biden broke a record. The 64th day of being president with no press conferences. 

It was hardly a press briefing. It was more a brief press statement. With lots of pages of notes. But in another historic first, it was the president who had the notes, not the intrepid reporters.

According to The Hill, here are the news organizations that got to ask a question or two. 

Zeke Miller, Associated Press (president of the White House Correspondents Association)

One question and one follow-up question. 

Yamiche Alcindor, PBS NewsHour.

One question and one follow-up question. 

Seung Min Kim, The Washington Post  - One question.

Cecilia Vega, ABC

One question, two follow-up questions.

Ken Thomas, The Wall Street Journal.

One question, one follow-up question.

Kristen Welker, NBC

One question, five follow-up questions.

Nancy Cordes, CBS

One question, three follow-up questions.

Kaitlan Collins, CNN 

One question, four follow-up questions.

Justin Sink, Bloomberg

Janet Rodriguez, Univision

One question, two follow-up questions.

The most notable news organizations that the President didn't take to not call on included The New York Times and Fox News.

When they come for me, they may come for you

   

Martin Niemöller came up with how the lack of adherence to standards can seem fine when it happens to somebody else. 

But when happens when they come for you?

So, updated for modern times, we might see it more like this:

 First they came for Twitter accounts, and I did not speak out

            —because I didn’t use Twitter.

 

    Then they came for Facebook users, and I did not speak out

— because I wasn’t a Facebook user..

 

    Then they came for the YouTubers, and I did not speak out—because I was not a YouTuber.

 

    Then they came for me

 —and there was no one left to speak for me.

The original went something like:

First they came for Communists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Communist

Then they came for Socialists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Jew

Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To speak out for me 

Promises, Promises

A Star Is Bored - Hollywood Reboots Yet Another Old Movie

Apple at the Consumer Electronics Show 2019

Apple, once long ago the underdog, is now the overdog and although it doesn’t officially appear at C.E.S., it’s presence is always felt.

This year, more so than others because they painted the side of a building in Las Vegas this year. 

Apple put up its message, but what is the message behind the message?

Read Apple’s end-user license agreement (EULA) for Apple’s sincere message. Too bad they couldn’t find a building big enough to print that missive.

Too bad. Zero Wing would be impressed and Big Brother would be proud.

Who Dropped The Ball in 2018?

As we close out the year that was 2018, the news self-reported about how they (i.e. journalists and editors) have the high honor of dropping the Times Square ball on New Year's Eve to ring in the 2019.

Of course, they don't see the self-referential irony...

 

Let's hope journalism goes back to being a more reliable institution rather than team cheerleaders in 2019!

The Point About The Government Shutting Down

The government has shut down again...
Of course, it's Friday and the government always shuts down on Fridays...for the weekend. Ever try to file a passport application on a Saturday? Exactly.

However, there is a point to be made about the government shutting down -

Let Them Eat Crumbs...

Some people just aren't happy unless they are unhappy.

Madame Nancy Pelosi, the Dauphine of the Democrat Party, held a press conference to excoriate businesses for giving their tax cuts to their employees and called the $1000 and $500 tax savings to each worker, “pathetic.”

Perhaps it’s because, in her world, “tax returns” never mean returning money to the people who worked for the money. Of course, now she and others see it as a money that is being denied the government to fund “valuable services,” such as Studying Russian Smokers, Hamster Cage Matches, and the most ironic of the ironic, Paying For A Study To Find Out Why Politics Causes Stress.

When the shoe was on the other hand, though, like when President “No Refunds” Obama passed a $40 tax cut, it was a “Victory For All Americans.”

There’s a lot the “little people” can do with $500 to $1000 in their hand. Despite a respite from the dreaded and irritating monthly rent payment, it could also make a difference in fixing a nasty oil leak so your driveway stops looking like a Jackson Pollak painting.

What else could you do with your $1000? You could get an iPhoneX and help out a struggling Apple. Or here are a couple of other ideas:

                            Sail to the Caribbean or eat 83 slices of avocado toast,

                              A purebred puppy,

                                A custom fitted business suit,

                                 Camp out in Disneyland for 9 full days.

 

I’m sure most of us can come up with some good ideas, after all, what’s the first thought when we hear Powerball has hit a new record payout? No, not, “gee - those odds must be astronomical!” We think about what we would do if we won the billion dollars or whatever it is they are offering.

During the first debate of the 2020 presidential campaign season, that should be the first question: “How did you spend your tax cut?”

The answers might be quite illuminating…especially if they bought lamps with it.

When it comes to tax dollars, just whose money is it anyway?

At least Marie Antoinette let us eat the cake…not just the crumbs.

This Year's First Blizzard Is Da Bomb!

The first great weather phenomenon has arrived just in time for the news to ramp up again after the holiday break. It’s time for all the indoor weather forecasters to get put out in the middle of awful weather conditions to make it look like they are hearty troopers rather than party poopers.

It’s being dubbed…The BOMB CYCLONE! Not that they’d expect any of their viewers to really understand the term, but they get to say “bomb” and “cyclone,” in the same title, which sounds like it would be a hit disaster film.

This storm received various unofficial names (other than the unprintable ones used by those suffering through it on the way to work in the morning). Some of the more colorful names are: Storm Grayson,  Explosive Cyclogenesis, The Blizzard of 2018 (which old-timers will wistfully use to describe it to the youngins 50 years from now), and Storm Brody. The storm was also dubbed a "historic bomb cyclone" by meteorologists who love explosive hyperbole. But, given the fact that most people skip over the news weather reports like they skip over a vitamin supplement information about “steroids on steroids,” the weather casters have to take what they get and run with it.

Of course, we here on the West Coast find it a challenge to be sympathetic to snow issues. For us, snow is something you visit in the mountains in the winter, nothing to be feared. We get a little frost now and again but for most of us, our biggest frost danger comes from our freezers going ice-crazy.

But of course, just you wait - the next earthquake will hit and you’ll hear our weather people calling it the Megathrust Earthquake of 2018!

Oh, well, East Coast Weather people, just remember: There’s no business like snow business!

May The 4th 2017

Happy Star Wars Day! May-The-4th 2017!


Hope your day is happier than a Hutt at a Las Vegas buffet!

So did Darth Vader ever remarry after the death of Padme? The rumor is he did. Her name was Ella.

Ouch! Ella Vader is a bad one, but maybe we can be forgiven on Star Wars Day!

United Becoming Untied

We know this:

The next time they ask for volunteers, you’re going to see people move faster than the babysitter’s boyfriend when the car pulls up.

The Two Men Who Kept Hillary From Being President

When Donald Trump met with Barack Obama, it was the meeting of the two men most responsible for Hillary Clinton not becoming president of the United States, at least for the foreseeable future. Remember, there is nothing like the second chance in American political life…just ask Richard Nixon who said they wouldn’t have him to kick around anymore after he lost an election. Even Obama bounced back after losing an election, so you never know what will happen.

As the two shook hands, most saw them as rivals, but they have more in common than people might want to realize.

What do Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common? It’s not like the Kennedy-Lincoln list, but it is fascinating:

Both ran for president as outsiders.

Both campaigned as agents of drastic change.

Both broke new ground in using Social Media in their campaigns.

Both launched their primary campaigns at the end of the second terms of their predecessors.

And both beat Hillary Clinton to get there.

Hillary Clinton probably realized it.

Bill Clinton probably did, too.

But the first handshake between “O” and “The Donald” was the meeting of the two people who kept Hillary from the most coveted office in the land.

Russian Hackers Disrupt New Years

Singers have lip synced for years but sometimes it becomes obvious at the worst possible time (remember Beyoncé lip syncing through Obama's inauguration?).

But as 2016 gasped its final seconds, including its very last leap second, the country was subjected to a new national nightmare.

Whether it was a publicity grabbing event by either side or just another 2016 SNAFU, the event can be blamed on the cause-de-jour - Russian Hacking!

Those dread Russian Hackers, led by their Dobby look alike Vlad The Impaler-Emailer Putin.

Could it be? Stay tuned to the WikiLeaks in 6 months to find out what really went down behind the scenes.

Trump Running All Over GOP's Roads

The 2016 political season has broken a lot of old rules but one that still remains a constant is the one that says a few months are an eternity during a campaign.

How many people remember a few short months ago how desperate the Republican Party was to get Donald Trump to pledge to not run a third-party campaign "if" he didn't win the Republican nomination? They feared that scenario more than anything the Democrats could throw at them. So much so that pledges were signed, right hands were raised, ballot laws were changed.

The one thing that didn't happen is Candidate Trump didn't ask the GOP to do likewise. Today, it all seems so absurd.

And yet, never to be outdone with absurdity, the Republican honchos have decided to push the #DumpTrump secret campaign. The genius plan includes redoing the delegate rules for 2016 and replacing TheDonald with a secret candidate deemed worthy by those in the proverbial smoke-filled room.

Is #DumpTrump deja vu all over again? Anybody remember the populist Tea Party movement? Republican establishment types fought pretty hard back then, too.

With all the concerted effort the GOP leaders are putting into "Stop Trump," one wonders how things might be different today if they had put half as much effort into being the "loyal opposition" against the Democrats over the last seven and a half years.

I suppose the Republican leadership has one bit of solace to salve their offended egos. They must be saying to themselves, "well, at least he's not a Tea Partier."

Santa's Self-Driving Sleigh

How soon until Santa joins adapts to the changes in technology?

In fact, with GPS, drone carrying capacity and computer coordination, Santa would have no problems meeting his 24-hour delivery deadline.

Take it another step further - By using drones, Internet use scanning technology and a whole bunch of money, a person could really become a Santa. Here's how:

1. Track the preferences of every person who uses the Internet and use that to compile your naughty and good lists;
2. Use cookies to determine what every person on the good list wants. Your phone app then purchases the Christmas gifts and has them delivered to your staging area.
3. Get a world-record number of drones to make the deliveries and launch them all in stages on Christmas Eve to coordinate with the time zones across the planet and deliver coal to the naughty list members and the presents to the good list.
4. Then wait for the complaints to tweet in - you've overstepped your authority as a human being; you've invaded everybody's privacy; you got the wrong gift; etc.

The joys of being a "real Santa" in the modern era.

New Pictures of Pluto, Charon and Hydra Beemed Back By New Horizons' Computers

 

The offices of NASA is all aTwitter,

Because their probe showed more than glitter.


It seems New Horizons was the little craft that could;

And the high quality pictures sure looked good.


Now maybe arguments'll end, and feelings won't be so sore;

Because Pluto will be the most popular planet once more.